STORIES
Read more about Laura's ceremony here, along with her reflections - and some surprising outcomes - a year later.
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Laura's Experience
Curious about what it’s like to honor a personal transition with a ceremony?
Here’s what Laura shared with me about her experience: The ceremony for me was a huge symbolic moment, a marker, a point that I can now turn to and reference. The image of all my dear friends, their smiles and expressions of compassion as we sat in the sunlight, will be forever imprinted in my mind. My memory of that day is vivid, full of colors, sounds, textures and emotions. The effect the ceremony had on me: The ceremony was profoundly transformative for me in ways that were evident not just in the moment, but in the hours and days that followed. I was both nervous and excited for the ceremony, which felt similar to the hours before my wedding day. Yet as soon as we began gathering all of the props for the ceremony and the group assembled in a circle, my nervousness fell away and I felt full of energy. As you retold my story I could feel myself traveling back in time and passing through all the emotions and states of mind that I have experienced over these months. Yet in hearing my story out loud, I felt surprisingly calm and objective, as if I was another observer or witness in the audience hearing the story. The story was so familiar to me but it no longer felt painful. And for the first time I could feel my body beginning to relax and accept this as my truth without judgment. The physical relaxation in my body was an immediate effect that continued in the hours and days that followed. When I arrived home that evening, the house was still in a way that had not been true for a long time, perhaps never. I remember quietly lighting the blue candle from my ceremony and slipping into bed with my journal. My mind and body felt clear and flowing like the image of ice melting into water that we had evoked in our circle. My only fear was that I would somehow break this magical spell. Yet this clarity and calmness has continued to stay with me – not as a constant but in bursts, like sunlight coming in and out of the clouds. I can sense when the feelings of confidence and calm come back into my body, like a warming sensation. The warmth comes over me with an overwhelming sense of hope and happiness. Reflections on how the ceremony was designed and led: Every part of the ceremony was memorable in a different way. Your retelling of my story was personally meaningful. The movement activity led by one friend brought out the energy of the entire group and allowed us to create something together. The blessings from my friends and my presentation of the quipus I made for each participant were an incredible way to weave together our personal histories. It was in these unscripted moments when bits of our personalities and friendships came out to reveal themselves. And as if we were holding up a mirror for each other, I could see the reflection of my story and this ceremony in the lives of each of them. Each of us has such a unique perspective yet we are similar in so many ways. The closing with the lighting of the wish papers was incredibly intimate. It was powerful how still and focused we all were as each person lit their paper and set out their intention. It was amazing to feel our collective will and to have symbols to put to that feeling. The most effective part of the ceremony design was how fluidly the pieces worked together. You provided the right balance of structure and flexibility, which set things into motion and carefully kept us on track but also held time for surprises, laughter, tears and reflections. It was amazing how craftily you wove together all the pieces to tell a cohesive story. It is a true art form and talent to be this kind of story teller. I also loved and appreciated how you lead the ceremony with such a delicate hand – you laid out the structure in a clear way so that the group knew what to expect, but then you really stepped back and became like a participant. You immediately melted into the circle and never once felt like an outsider or observer, which added to the intimacy and comfort of the ceremony. I was so impressed with how you managed all of the details to plan the ceremony with such grace. It seemed so effortless yet it was clear how much time and intention had gone into each aspect of the ceremony, from the beautiful program, to the carefully crafted script and the integration of the contributions from each of my friends. The amount of time, the opening and closing, the setting and content...were so suited to the purpose of the ceremony. The ceremony went so beautifully in large part because there was such a tremendous level of trust between you, me and the group. The activities were not rehearsed but each one came out as if they had been. This is testament to your incredible facilitation, the talent in the group (folks that were comfortable performing/teaching and participating) and the fact that we all knew each other so well. |