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25 Years: Paying It Forward

8/26/2013

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PictureLiz Snow, left, with Pat Cohen
For conventional couples, 25 years together is celebrated as the "silver anniversary". But for Liz Snow and Pat Cohen, it was all about hammer and nails. Longtime Habitat for Humanity volunteers, they used their anniversary as a tool to bring together all of their friends while "paying forward" their good fortune for the benefit of others. 

They were already experienced leaders with Habitat's Womenbuild program. As they told their guests: "Womenbuilds are Habitat builds where the volunteers are all women, created to provide an environment in which women can feel comfortable learning construction skills they might not otherwise have the opportunity to learn. We have found it to be an empowering, exciting, wonderful experience, working with other women to improve the world locally."

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Pat and Liz were also experienced community builders. The two had met in the 1970s at the Michigan Womyn's Music Festival. Pat saw Liz as a snooty music industry person; Liz saw Pat as a pushy New Yorker - stereotypes that were both "true and not true". They say, "It took nine more years of being in the same place at the same time before we really saw each other."

Once they finally clicked they became a team that led crews at the Festival each summer and inspired their large circle of friends through their example. Their story became the stuff of legend as they reenacted their first encounter at an annual community gathering.

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So when it came time to celebrate 25 years together they saw it as the perfect opportunity to marry their love of community with their passion for making the world a better place. They approached Habitat with an idea that had never been tried: instead of seeking a corporate sponsor for Womenbuild, they would ask their friends to act as sponsors through a fundraising drive in honor of their anniversary. 

"We started the fundraising at $2,500, thinking this was a high amount to fundraise," they say. "As the money started to be donated and was  approaching the $2,000 mark, we decided to raise the number to $5,000.  As it started to get into the $4,500 range with weeks to go, we raised it to the final amount of $7,500 and eventually collected over $9,300 for Suffolk Habitat!"    
 

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The day of the build itself was joyous and exciting. Everyone sported tool belts customized with a "Liz and Pat 25 Years" logo. Their local coffeeshop (where the pair spend about an hour a day) chipped in with caffeinated beverages to kick things off. Those who couldn't do physical work provided the rest with a wonderful lunch. 

Pat and Liz report that their friends "felt the high that we always get working on a house. We created a day that we and our friends will long remember and one that meant a lot to the family who eventually moved into the home."  

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They ended the day with a huge party at their home.

As a side note, the pair were named Volunteers of the Year by Habitat and awarded "gold" hammers. The story of their 25th anniversary day is being told and retold at Habitat events to inspire others. 

And Liz and Pat report, 'We're still feeling the love of that day 15 months later."

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Pet Love, Pet Loss

8/18/2013

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PictureSmitty & Homer
This month I've been enjoying vacation time off the grid, out in the woods. Re-entry is hard. 

My prime consolation as I journeyed back to a busy life in the city was anticipation of a reunion with my two furry companions, Homer and Smitty. 

More than 70% of Americans have a pet, and six out of ten of us consider our pets to be members of our families.

Loving our companion animals is a joy. Losing them can be devastating. Memorializing them well can help us heal. 

PictureHadley Mae (? 1997 – May 24, 2013)
This week I share, with permission, one of the most evocative eulogies I've ever read. This tribute to Hadley Mae, written by my favorite blogger Andrea Carlisle, illustrates the tender power of remembrance.

It begins like this: 

"One morning back in 1998, a young stray cat found her way to the side door of a high school in a Portland suburb. The elderly janitor happened to come out to deliver something to the dumpster, spotted the small cat patiently waiting for the door to open, and befriended her.

"It was cold and rainy, so he took her inside and down to his office in the basement. After a few days of research, he concluded that no one was looking for a skinny cat with two cracked teeth, a soft, multi-colored coat, and a long, be-ringed tail with a velvety black tip.

"The cat and janitor took to each other. While he did his paperwork, she sat on his lap. When he went off to polish floors, she kept his chair warm. He couldn’t bring her home, so he tried to make her the official school cat with a permanent residence in his office in the basement."


Read more...

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Portland pet lovers are lucky to have a nationally renowned pet loss support program at Dove Lewis. Founded and run by certified grief counselor Enid Traisman, the program offers a variety of resources including art therapy workshops and a lovely advice column written by Enid. If this topic touches you, I encourage you to follow Enid's blog.

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    I want to know your story. And I want to help you tell it. If you’re eager to embrace the meaning in your life and to connect more deeply with others, you’ve found a kindred spirit in me.

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