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It’s Never Too Late

2/16/2013

2 Comments

 
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Charlotte Eulette
How long is too long to wait when it comes to celebrating the life of a beloved family member? For Charlotte Eulette, who shared her story with me recently, it’s never too late.

Charlotte created a memorial celebration for her stepfather Sheldon eight years after he died.

In the first year after Sheldon’s death at the too-young age of 62, Charlotte’s mother was still in shock; she couldn’t fully process it. The suddenness of his death fractured the family for a time. But as the years passed, Charlotte’s mother realized she wanted a chance to gather people back together to remember her husband, to hear the stories his friends would tell, and to let his grandchildren (so young when he died) get to know him through others’ memories.

Inspired by the seven-year cycle of observance in Jewish custom, Charlotte and her mother began a year-long process of planning the perfect event. They rented a fabulous hotel hall with a killer view of Chicago, the city Sheldon had loved and served as a lifelong philanthropist. 

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The invitation featured an historic photo of the city skyline, an image that seemed to personify Sheldon’s life as a Renaissance man. In honor of his name, they decorated with shells and created beautiful keepsakes for everyone to take home. Reflecting the eighth anniversary theme, eight speakers shared their personal Sheldon stories with a vibrant and diverse crowd of 80. Classical Greek music completed the tribute.    

Charlotte knew the ceremony had succeeded in capturing her stepfather’s spirit when the hotel bartender, who had never met the man, poured Sheldon a drink. With tears in his eyes he called for a toast, saying, “I’ve never seen anything like this. You’ve brought Sheldon into this room. We may not see him, but he is here nonetheless.”

Sheldon’s celebration provided Charlotte’s mother with a helpful focus. It also offered a healing contrast for Charlotte who had conducted her own father’s funeral two years before.

As the International Director of the Celebrant Foundation and Institute, Charlotte has conducted hundreds of ceremonies in her 12 years as a Life-Cycle Celebrant ®. But perhaps the most difficult was the funeral she led for her own father the day after his death by suicide. “It was the last gift we both gave to each other,” Charlotte says of the beautiful and honest stories offered at the funeral home that day.

Describing the two ceremonies she created for her two beloved fathers, Charlotte says, “They were two different feelings – one done immediately, the other eight years later. But just as much was love shared with both. Each was truly a reflection of who they were and how they were remembered.”


*        *         *

What do you think? Is there a loved one you've lost - person or pet - whose memory you'd like to celebrate?

2 Comments
Peggy
2/16/2013 01:44:45 pm

It is a comfort to know that there isn't a "time limit" on life celebration ceremony. My mother died a little over a year ago after a brief and fairly intense experience with brain cancer; she didn't want a funeral (I found out later most likely because of all the bad experiences she had at family funerals and not being particularly religious)....but here I was, a celebrant-to-be (I am currently in the program at CF&I, in the funeral/memorial program, as well, though not at the time), without a clue how to find some sort of meaningful transition with my own huge loss. But Charlotte's experience gives me comfort: my mother donated her body to the local medical school; sometime in the next two years I will receive a phone call that says my mother's cremated remains are ready to pick up...I will scatter them off the coast where she liked to go on solo week vacations, knit and drink gin and tonics - surely I will be able to make some sort of ceremony, if just for me, out of this!

So, thank you for this post.

Reply
Holly
2/16/2013 03:49:07 pm

Peggy, thanks for sharing your experience. I lost my dad to brain cancer, too - he didn't want a funeral either. (I wrote about my six-months-after and ten-years-later commemorations in earlier blog posts http://www.hollypruettcelebrant.com/2/post/2013/01/letting-go-of-my-dad-part-1.html) Best wishes to you as your Celebrancy work unfolds, and as you write a new chapter in the story with your mother. Holly

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  • Holly Pruett Celebrant LLC – Creative Life Ceremonies from Cradle to Grave
  • Certified Life-Cycle Celebrant ® | Funeral & Wedding Officiant | Interfaith Minister
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