This week I listened to an interview with journalist Michel Martin, host of the wonderfully-named but now defunct NPR program Tell Me More. She spoke to an aspect of my work as a Celebrant that I value the most, something she called "a ministry of presence."
Speaking to Krista Tippet as part of a Chautauqua series on The American Consciousness, Michel described having gone to Turkey in the wake of a series of disastrous earthquakes. She wished she could do something useful as a doctor would have, for example, or an engineer. And yet as a reporter, she received endless appreciation from the people she met. She shared her feeling of inadequacy with her husband. Why were people thanking her for doing, seemingly, nothing? Because, he said,"You are showing them that they exist."
She learned that lesson as a cub reporter covering an accidental death in a housing project. Fearful of intruding on the bereaved mother, she was greeted with open arms. "If someone from the media didn't come," she was shown, "it was invisible and had no meaning." As she put it in the interview: "If you are a person in dire circumstances, being noticed, that's the most important thing we can do for people....What we are simply saying is, 'I see you.'"
These words address the role of a journalist, but to my ears they describe why I get up in the morning. Organizing Death Cafes where strangers give each other the gift of presence as they share whatever is on their minds about death, receiving in return the message: "I see you." Inviting clients to articulate what their wedding, their new baby, their mid-life passages, the death of their loved one means to them; letting them know they are seen in all their joys and sorrows. Creating ceremony that calls upon the seen and the unseen to affirm that life matters, that memories have power, that we can embrace those who are missing.
"Sometimes the best thing we can do for people is let them know that we see them," says Michel Martin. Her charge to us - be we journalists, Celebrants, or just plain people: "Look around and see who's missing. And try to invite that person."
It's the highest calling, the greatest challenge, and the deepest privilege of my work.
Speaking to Krista Tippet as part of a Chautauqua series on The American Consciousness, Michel described having gone to Turkey in the wake of a series of disastrous earthquakes. She wished she could do something useful as a doctor would have, for example, or an engineer. And yet as a reporter, she received endless appreciation from the people she met. She shared her feeling of inadequacy with her husband. Why were people thanking her for doing, seemingly, nothing? Because, he said,"You are showing them that they exist."
She learned that lesson as a cub reporter covering an accidental death in a housing project. Fearful of intruding on the bereaved mother, she was greeted with open arms. "If someone from the media didn't come," she was shown, "it was invisible and had no meaning." As she put it in the interview: "If you are a person in dire circumstances, being noticed, that's the most important thing we can do for people....What we are simply saying is, 'I see you.'"
These words address the role of a journalist, but to my ears they describe why I get up in the morning. Organizing Death Cafes where strangers give each other the gift of presence as they share whatever is on their minds about death, receiving in return the message: "I see you." Inviting clients to articulate what their wedding, their new baby, their mid-life passages, the death of their loved one means to them; letting them know they are seen in all their joys and sorrows. Creating ceremony that calls upon the seen and the unseen to affirm that life matters, that memories have power, that we can embrace those who are missing.
"Sometimes the best thing we can do for people is let them know that we see them," says Michel Martin. Her charge to us - be we journalists, Celebrants, or just plain people: "Look around and see who's missing. And try to invite that person."
It's the highest calling, the greatest challenge, and the deepest privilege of my work.
Michel Martin (Amy Ta/NPR photo) * * *
With great appreciation to my Orphan Wisdom School classmate Carrie Stearns for sharing this broadcast. Click here to listen to the full hour.
Michel Martin is a journalist with NPR. She previously reported for The Washington Post, The Wall Street Journal, and ABC’s “Nightline.” She was the creator and host of the NPR program Tell Me More, which ran from 2007-2014.
With great appreciation to my Orphan Wisdom School classmate Carrie Stearns for sharing this broadcast. Click here to listen to the full hour.
Michel Martin is a journalist with NPR. She previously reported for The Washington Post, The Wall Street Journal, and ABC’s “Nightline.” She was the creator and host of the NPR program Tell Me More, which ran from 2007-2014.
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