When Stephanie imagined her wedding to Jay, she knew she wanted to include her father Ron, who passed away when she was 23.
“I don’t know the exact words,” she told me, “but I feel that he would have loved Jay and would be very happy for me right now. I want to convey that.”
As we explored the possibilities, Stephanie shared with me a precious keepsake from her father: a letter he wrote to her while she was in college, a letter he spent most of a workday crafting. With Stephanie's encouragement, I wove excerpts of her father’s letter into their wedding ceremony.
“I don’t know the exact words,” she told me, “but I feel that he would have loved Jay and would be very happy for me right now. I want to convey that.”
As we explored the possibilities, Stephanie shared with me a precious keepsake from her father: a letter he wrote to her while she was in college, a letter he spent most of a workday crafting. With Stephanie's encouragement, I wove excerpts of her father’s letter into their wedding ceremony.
As they stood before their family and friends, a framed photo of Stephanie’s parents sat nearby on a small table with a vase of flowers. After acknowledging those unable to attend the joyous occasion in person, I introduced her father’s letter.
I quoted her dad's words to Stephanie: “I eagerly await to see the person you will become," he wrote. "Whatever you do and wherever you go, I know that you will take the high road. I know you will settle for nothing less. I know that you have a fire that burns within you, something more than the idealistic feelings of youth. You have a fire that drives you to a higher standard of belief and desire. Never, never, never surrender yourself to the lower road. Accept your dreams and then nurture them.”
Turning from the letter to the betrothed couple and their witnesses, I continued: “Today, Stephanie and Jay stand here in fulfillment of Ron’s vision for his daughter, embracing the high road of devotion, committed to nurturing their dreams together.
I quoted her dad's words to Stephanie: “I eagerly await to see the person you will become," he wrote. "Whatever you do and wherever you go, I know that you will take the high road. I know you will settle for nothing less. I know that you have a fire that burns within you, something more than the idealistic feelings of youth. You have a fire that drives you to a higher standard of belief and desire. Never, never, never surrender yourself to the lower road. Accept your dreams and then nurture them.”
Turning from the letter to the betrothed couple and their witnesses, I continued: “Today, Stephanie and Jay stand here in fulfillment of Ron’s vision for his daughter, embracing the high road of devotion, committed to nurturing their dreams together.
“In Ron’s letter, he said, ‘I want to tell you how tremendously proud of you I am, Stephanie. You are the best of the best. I am the president of the Stephanie fan club.’"
I concluded this section: “Today, accepting the cosmic baton pass from Ron, Jay stands here, the next president of the Stephanie fan club. May you both continue to feel Ron’s love as a blessing upon you.”
* * *
My deep thanks to Stephanie and Jay for allowing me to share the beautiful way they honored the memory of Stephanie’s dad in their wedding. How have you acknowledged loss during moments of joy, or brought the light of joy into times of sorrow?
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