My ancestral story is full of departures; many left the fabric of our family badly frayed. So it was a joy to help my gifted yoga teacher Jay say an intentional farewell to her community in Portland when she relocated to Ojai last year.
Jay returned to Portland a few weeks ago to lead a workshop, almost exactly a year after moving. Reflecting on her farewell ceremony she says, “Because of the intentional marking, grieving, and celebrating of that transition, I am clear that Portland is no longer my home - and is always my home."
Last spring, a month after arriving in Ojai, she said “I've never before had the support of my community in such a potent way when moving to a new place (and everything else that represents). The ceremony allowed me to feel like I've arrived here in my new life cleanly, and with blessings.”
Jay and I began envisioning her ceremony in a conversation in which she reflected on the nature of her journey and transition. She reported later that day: “I have to say, the ceremony is already working – as they do when you consciously begin to craft! Our conversation this morning was the first time that I began to feel into the immense journey I've been on as a whole, and to the mixture of so many emotions that I'm feeling as I'm about to bring this chapter to a close.”
Jay outlined some of the ceremonial elements that appealed to her and connected me by email to the women she had invited to participate. I then worked with this close circle of her sister-students to explore the ways they wanted to honor Jay. The result was a ceremony in three parts.
Part I. Creating Sacred Space
Jay had said, “Nothing says ceremony to me like sage” so we began by burning a bundle one participant had brought. Another sounded her singing bowl to signify our connection to the voice within each of that speaks the truth. Then, as we had so often in Jay’s classes, we honored the circle of connections among us by joining our voices together with three rolling ohms.
Part II. Our Shero’s Journey
Drawing on the themes Jay had shared with me and using her words, I narrated her “Shero’s Journey,” placing her imminent transition in her larger life’s context and naming the gifts her journey had delivered. We then invited each participant to share from her own gifts, perhaps something we’d learned in ourselves from our time with Jay. The first offering was a beautiful viola performance, enlivened through the embodiment of the musician’s yoga practice. After each woman had shared, we bestowed our blessings on Jay through words, a charm necklace composed of beads we’d each brought, and a special blend of essential oils we created together. One participant presented a small box labeled “Joy” to contain all the treasures.
Part III. Departure
Jay then offered a poem to the group, Derek Walcott’s Love After Love. We closed with flying wish papers and a delicious feast of wine and homemade foods.
From her new home a month later Jay wrote, “I have the JOY tin box on my bathroom sink, so every morning and evening I’m reminded of the journey I took to get here and the community of people who helped me along, let me go, and are still here with me in support. That little treasure reminds me of the magic and beauty of that afternoon together, and always makes me smile.”
Jay returned to Portland a few weeks ago to lead a workshop, almost exactly a year after moving. Reflecting on her farewell ceremony she says, “Because of the intentional marking, grieving, and celebrating of that transition, I am clear that Portland is no longer my home - and is always my home."
Last spring, a month after arriving in Ojai, she said “I've never before had the support of my community in such a potent way when moving to a new place (and everything else that represents). The ceremony allowed me to feel like I've arrived here in my new life cleanly, and with blessings.”
Jay and I began envisioning her ceremony in a conversation in which she reflected on the nature of her journey and transition. She reported later that day: “I have to say, the ceremony is already working – as they do when you consciously begin to craft! Our conversation this morning was the first time that I began to feel into the immense journey I've been on as a whole, and to the mixture of so many emotions that I'm feeling as I'm about to bring this chapter to a close.”
Jay outlined some of the ceremonial elements that appealed to her and connected me by email to the women she had invited to participate. I then worked with this close circle of her sister-students to explore the ways they wanted to honor Jay. The result was a ceremony in three parts.
Part I. Creating Sacred Space
Jay had said, “Nothing says ceremony to me like sage” so we began by burning a bundle one participant had brought. Another sounded her singing bowl to signify our connection to the voice within each of that speaks the truth. Then, as we had so often in Jay’s classes, we honored the circle of connections among us by joining our voices together with three rolling ohms.
Part II. Our Shero’s Journey
Drawing on the themes Jay had shared with me and using her words, I narrated her “Shero’s Journey,” placing her imminent transition in her larger life’s context and naming the gifts her journey had delivered. We then invited each participant to share from her own gifts, perhaps something we’d learned in ourselves from our time with Jay. The first offering was a beautiful viola performance, enlivened through the embodiment of the musician’s yoga practice. After each woman had shared, we bestowed our blessings on Jay through words, a charm necklace composed of beads we’d each brought, and a special blend of essential oils we created together. One participant presented a small box labeled “Joy” to contain all the treasures.
Part III. Departure
Jay then offered a poem to the group, Derek Walcott’s Love After Love. We closed with flying wish papers and a delicious feast of wine and homemade foods.
From her new home a month later Jay wrote, “I have the JOY tin box on my bathroom sink, so every morning and evening I’m reminded of the journey I took to get here and the community of people who helped me along, let me go, and are still here with me in support. That little treasure reminds me of the magic and beauty of that afternoon together, and always makes me smile.”
Love After Love
By Derek Walcott
The time will come
when, with elation
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other's welcome,
and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you
all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,
the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.
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