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At 70: Letting Go & New Beginnings

3/9/2013

 
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This week’s story is of a very special 71 year old, and the way we marked the dawn of his eighth decade at this time last year. Heading into his 70th birthday on the heels of a divorce, he didn’t want a party. Instead we took a walk into the woods together for a private Ceremony of Letting Go & New Beginnings, designed in four parts.

Part 1: Creating Ceremonial Space
We walked together to a favorite spot on the trail, a modest bridge over a gentle stream. We cast a circle of protection around us using wood ash, and purified the space by burning sage. He called in the spirits he wanted to acknowledge and asked his heart to open to acceptance and gratitude.

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Part 2: Letting Go
Facing downstream, we used John O’Donohue’s Blessing for the Break-Up of a Relationship as prelude to a litany of questions: What are you letting go of? What needs forgiveness? Are you ready to forgive yourself and release what needs to be released? With his answers, he knelt to burn some keepsakes from the wedding that began the marriage now ended.

Borrowing John O’Donohue’s words, we invoked his Blessing To Come Home to Yourself:
       May all that is unforgiven in you be released.
       May your fears yield their deepest tranquilities.
       May all that is unlived in you blossom into a future graced with love.

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Part 3: Opening
What is unlived within you that wants to blossom? Facing upstream, open to the flow, my friend responded to this and other prompts with his intentions for this next phase of his life. As he scattered the ashes from the objects he had burned, we turned to O’Donohue for one last blessing, the Blessing for a New Beginning.

Part 4: Celebrating New Beginnings
Finally, we moved from the transitional space of the bridge, which my friend had so often traversed alone, to a ground cloth we had spread nearby, representing the common ground of community. We had invited family and other loved ones to contribute a poem for this day, which I had bound into a book. I presented my dear friend with this book of blessings as we sat sheltered by the trees and shared celebratory food and drink.
*      *      *
There are few resources more wonderful than John O'Donohue's Book of Blessings: To Bless This Space Between Us. My gratitude to the memory of Mr O'Donohue for helping to bring the art of the blessing into secular spaces.

Cheryl, A Westcoast Celebrant link
3/9/2013 03:42:34 am

Holly, what a beautiful ceremony you crafted.

Holly
3/9/2013 08:07:19 am

Cheryl, Thank you! As you know from your Celebrant practice, it's such a gift to be able to participate in and support ceremonies such as this one.
Holly

Nancy
3/9/2013 04:59:30 am

I love reading your celebritory ceremonies, rituals. I did a couple of divorce rituals myself. One oncluding my now exhusband in our therapists office where we began with our unity wedding candle from which we lit our own induvidual / goiong our own way candles. I did a reading and we blew out the wedding candle. Another ritual involved creating a new ring that i designed to replace my wedding band ...i had the two tiny diamonds from my wedding ring removed and used to integrate into my new ring ... Representing carrying forward what had been good in my marriage.i

Holly
3/9/2013 08:10:36 am

Nancy, Wow, what beautiful examples of the power of symbolic transformation. There's a commercial industry growing up around divorce ceremonies, with cathartic playlists and bridal-shower style cutesy games. But I'm much more drawn to the kind of personally meaningful rituals you (and your ex) created. Thanks so much for sharing!
Holly

Laura
3/21/2013 07:31:00 am

Holly and Nancy, thank you both for the gifts or inspiration, creativity and generosity you share so openly. You help me breathe deeper and open up to the moment as well as future possibilities to serve as a Celebrant.

Bless you Dear Sisters,
-Laura Creek
"Healing Creek Ceremonies"

Kit Loring link
2/17/2014 06:09:49 pm

Hi Holly! Thanks to Life Cycle Celebrants I find you! ... Loved the ceremony of Letting Go & New Beginnings ... In response to your thoughts on a potentially clamouring Divorce industry... my reflections include the following: to hold the pain of such a significant event as a divorce, that word itself felt so... so spiteful... an to find dignity in such confession, and love - deeper love and respect, deeper respect for all, to find grace and faith and to feel love's love for you and for the one from whom you have separated ...only to find that this separation is not from Love but can be a return to love - hope to meet one day Holly! Kit (Kit Loring - Ragamuffin International)

Erica link
5/10/2021 08:44:05 am

Great sshare


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  • Holly Pruett Celebrant LLC – Creative Life Ceremonies from Cradle to Grave
  • Certified Life-Cycle Celebrant ® | Funeral & Wedding Officiant | Interfaith Minister
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