Doodle & Susan after 18 years Recently my long-time friends Susan and Kathy (aka Doodle) legally married in Olympia, Washington. At their celebration (which was a-maz-ing; more on that another time) Susan said, "I didn't grow up planning to marry. I think many women of my generation spent a good many years celebrating the freedom not to marry."
After a year in which the voters of four states and the US Supreme Court decided that love is love - and Oregon United for Marriage formed to add us to the list of states where gays and lesbians can marry - there's incredible excitement about making marriage possible for all committed couples. And also some trepidation. Not just from our opposition. Within the LGBT community there are some who are concerned about narrowing the norms of relationships or narrowing the agenda of social justice pursuits.
For me, it's all about choices. Those who want to marry should be able to. Those who choose not to should be respected for their choices as well. The movement for the freedom to marry has tapped America's heart and opened it to the humanity of gay and lesbian relationships. And there are many other important fights to fight.
Our nation's current conversation about marriage is inspiring a lot of people to reflect on what they're committed to. In tribute to the many ways we direct our devotion, this week I profile two unique expressions of commitment.
After a year in which the voters of four states and the US Supreme Court decided that love is love - and Oregon United for Marriage formed to add us to the list of states where gays and lesbians can marry - there's incredible excitement about making marriage possible for all committed couples. And also some trepidation. Not just from our opposition. Within the LGBT community there are some who are concerned about narrowing the norms of relationships or narrowing the agenda of social justice pursuits.
For me, it's all about choices. Those who want to marry should be able to. Those who choose not to should be respected for their choices as well. The movement for the freedom to marry has tapped America's heart and opened it to the humanity of gay and lesbian relationships. And there are many other important fights to fight.
Our nation's current conversation about marriage is inspiring a lot of people to reflect on what they're committed to. In tribute to the many ways we direct our devotion, this week I profile two unique expressions of commitment.
Dr. Bon's Ceremony of Commitment
Many people would hesitate to invite 3,000 guests to their nuptials. Not Dr. Bon, a women's studies professor, now 50, who has attended the Michigan Womyn's Music Festival since she was 20. In celebration of her 30th annual pilgrimage to this legendary event, she posted a call in the program to one and all to witness her marriage to the Festival, her symbolic commitment to its future.
In front of an eclectic, multi-generational crowd outside the Community Center, beneath a chuppah made of laminated stage production cue sheets, Bonnie declared her vows.
"Michigan Festival, I commit to you, my longest love, my growing up, my holy place, my sacred space. In offering this simple ceremony of love, I stand in for all who feel as I do, and make myself a bride to my own culture. Some are meant to marry young and others find their partner late in life. I fell in love with all of lesbian culture, and partnered with the movement in my heart."
After a round of symbolic gifts, including a ring Dr. Bon had found and subsequently buried on the land to dig up on each year's return, guests shared blessings and a toast of commitment over ceremonial wine and sweet almonds. After sharing two poems, Bonnie enacted the Jewish tradition of stepping on a glass to remind all of the destruction of the Temple and the need to repair a broken world - consistent, she reminded her guests, of the "Festival values taught and learned here."
Many people would hesitate to invite 3,000 guests to their nuptials. Not Dr. Bon, a women's studies professor, now 50, who has attended the Michigan Womyn's Music Festival since she was 20. In celebration of her 30th annual pilgrimage to this legendary event, she posted a call in the program to one and all to witness her marriage to the Festival, her symbolic commitment to its future.
In front of an eclectic, multi-generational crowd outside the Community Center, beneath a chuppah made of laminated stage production cue sheets, Bonnie declared her vows.
"Michigan Festival, I commit to you, my longest love, my growing up, my holy place, my sacred space. In offering this simple ceremony of love, I stand in for all who feel as I do, and make myself a bride to my own culture. Some are meant to marry young and others find their partner late in life. I fell in love with all of lesbian culture, and partnered with the movement in my heart."
After a round of symbolic gifts, including a ring Dr. Bon had found and subsequently buried on the land to dig up on each year's return, guests shared blessings and a toast of commitment over ceremonial wine and sweet almonds. After sharing two poems, Bonnie enacted the Jewish tradition of stepping on a glass to remind all of the destruction of the Temple and the need to repair a broken world - consistent, she reminded her guests, of the "Festival values taught and learned here."
Married to the Movement
The organizers of Southerners on New Ground applied this same act of devotion to their vision of a world beyond racism, sexism, homophobia, and economic injustice. In the week following the Supreme Court's conflicting rulings - advancements for gay rights + setbacks for people of color - SONG released this compelling video. In it, an appealing, joyful cast declares their commitment to each other, to the complex identities that are fractured by institutional oppression, and to the work needed "to bring true justice home to the south."
Their invitation: "Join us in Marrying the Movement until every LGBTQ person has full dignity, safety, and liberation."
The organizers of Southerners on New Ground applied this same act of devotion to their vision of a world beyond racism, sexism, homophobia, and economic injustice. In the week following the Supreme Court's conflicting rulings - advancements for gay rights + setbacks for people of color - SONG released this compelling video. In it, an appealing, joyful cast declares their commitment to each other, to the complex identities that are fractured by institutional oppression, and to the work needed "to bring true justice home to the south."
Their invitation: "Join us in Marrying the Movement until every LGBTQ person has full dignity, safety, and liberation."
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