Spoiler alert: pregnant with possibility! I often wish I had a magic wand, but I'm careful to remind clients that I don't. I believe in the power of ritual and ceremony, but I can't guarantee the outcome. This was especially true for a ceremony I created for "Liminal Laura," a young woman in a time of turbulent transition who chose, in her words, "to turn towards my fears and confront them head on."
I worked with Laura to define her goals for the ceremony and collaborated with her close circle of friends on the gifts they wished to contribute. On a sweet spring afternoon in a backyard strewn with wildflowers, we gathered to witness a retelling of Laura’s story, how she got to the in-between place that was causing such pain but which she knew she needed to honor.
To symbolize the fears she'd felt nearly smothered by, Laura burrowed into a pile of blankets and then shed them, reciting a quote she'd selected from Marianne Williamson. When she emerged, her friends bestowed on her a set of Katniss-style braids and a miniature quiver of arrows, in tribute to her fierceness and courage.
I worked with Laura to define her goals for the ceremony and collaborated with her close circle of friends on the gifts they wished to contribute. On a sweet spring afternoon in a backyard strewn with wildflowers, we gathered to witness a retelling of Laura’s story, how she got to the in-between place that was causing such pain but which she knew she needed to honor.
To symbolize the fears she'd felt nearly smothered by, Laura burrowed into a pile of blankets and then shed them, reciting a quote she'd selected from Marianne Williamson. When she emerged, her friends bestowed on her a set of Katniss-style braids and a miniature quiver of arrows, in tribute to her fierceness and courage.
Having envisioned the ceremony as affirming “a shift from stagnation to movement, from silence to a strong voice” we then turned to a movement exercise where each of us embodied a word written on slips of paper Laura would keep, qualities she sought to embrace for her journey forward: Patience, Fearlessness, Curiosity, Community, Resilience, Resolve, Gentleness, and Humility. We then echoed Laura's voice in a litany of reinforcement as she spoke her intentions.
We closed the ceremony with participants reflecting to Laura what each of us saw in her; she in turn shared tokens of her gratitude with us. After a rousing rendition of "This Little Light of Mine," we lit Flying Wish Papers and dug into a beautiful potluck feast.
We closed the ceremony with participants reflecting to Laura what each of us saw in her; she in turn shared tokens of her gratitude with us. After a rousing rendition of "This Little Light of Mine," we lit Flying Wish Papers and dug into a beautiful potluck feast.
Laura with her son Ander You can read about the immediate impact of the ceremony on Laura here. But the full impact is still unfolding. Here is what she shared with me a year later:
"Unleashing my intentions and freeing up my heart and mind to the possibilities opened up the flood gates. I feel like I set the river in motion, hopped in my boat with my paddle, and have been moving along and riding the water ever since.
"My goals have manifested in many ways, both physically and emotionally. I secured a new job that is tapping into old passions and helping me develop new talents. I travelled to visit old friends, a journey I had feared for almost seven years, which proved to be both healing and rejuvenating. I sold my condo under the most miraculous circumstances, which allowed me and my partner to spend six wonderful months living with dear friends and then move into our own house. And this winter I conceived a baby who is expected to arrive in September!
"It’s hard to believe this has all transpired in less than one turn of a calendar year. Yet despite all the tangible things that have manifested, the biggest, most profound ‘accomplishment’ is the sustaining calm I feel inside. A year ago, it was all I could do to stay afloat as the waters stormed around me and yet this past year has been vivid, clear and peaceful. This sense of peace has been the greatest gift, which is teaching me how to live in the moment and appreciate what each day has to offer.
"The act of planning my ceremony, working with Holly to articulate my intentions and then asking friends to bear witness to my process, was intensely empowering. The ceremony afforded me new agency in my life that I was yearning for, but did not have the courage to do alone. Picking back up after having reset my course proved to be the hardest part. The ceremony, and the support of my friends gave me the push and the momentum I needed to get back on the water."
* * *
My deep thanks to Laura for the privilege of witnessing and supporting her journey, and the opportunity to share her story.
"Unleashing my intentions and freeing up my heart and mind to the possibilities opened up the flood gates. I feel like I set the river in motion, hopped in my boat with my paddle, and have been moving along and riding the water ever since.
"My goals have manifested in many ways, both physically and emotionally. I secured a new job that is tapping into old passions and helping me develop new talents. I travelled to visit old friends, a journey I had feared for almost seven years, which proved to be both healing and rejuvenating. I sold my condo under the most miraculous circumstances, which allowed me and my partner to spend six wonderful months living with dear friends and then move into our own house. And this winter I conceived a baby who is expected to arrive in September!
"It’s hard to believe this has all transpired in less than one turn of a calendar year. Yet despite all the tangible things that have manifested, the biggest, most profound ‘accomplishment’ is the sustaining calm I feel inside. A year ago, it was all I could do to stay afloat as the waters stormed around me and yet this past year has been vivid, clear and peaceful. This sense of peace has been the greatest gift, which is teaching me how to live in the moment and appreciate what each day has to offer.
"The act of planning my ceremony, working with Holly to articulate my intentions and then asking friends to bear witness to my process, was intensely empowering. The ceremony afforded me new agency in my life that I was yearning for, but did not have the courage to do alone. Picking back up after having reset my course proved to be the hardest part. The ceremony, and the support of my friends gave me the push and the momentum I needed to get back on the water."
* * *
My deep thanks to Laura for the privilege of witnessing and supporting her journey, and the opportunity to share her story.
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